Brotherly Love
by XxShawns Guardian AngelxX
Summary: For the Secret Santa 2009 Challenge. Shawn gets a visit from someone unexpected and ends up giving and getting the Christmas present he's always wished for.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Guys I swear to God I tried to make this one short but damn it all to hell I couldn't do it. The reason is because I had to attempt to make this believable and nothing was working. I started to go the straight smut route but it's Christmas and Owen (RIP) wouldn't let me do it. So…here's to another long ass short story. It will be a few shot eventually. Probably just three chapters or two depending on how long chapter two will be. I already had the entire story mapped out. Just got to finish typing it. I only posted part 1 now so that I can star work on the others I have left. Oiya! Merry Christmas all!**

***Note: This is based off the fanfic "Heart to Hart". Why? Because for some reason I can't seem to get away from it.  
**

* * *

**~**~**~**

**Brotherly Love**

**~**~**

_For HeartbreakDX_

**~**~**~**

**Montreal, Canada 1998**

**Christmas Eve**

Owen watched the handsome blonde sitting on the bench taping his wrists. If Owen could describe Shawn in one word he'd say audacious. Audacious was a good word for him because only someone that bold would even attempt to perform before a Montreal crowd, especially after what he managed to get by with around this time last year. It has been one year and some odd months since the infamous "Montreal Screw Job". His big brother Bret was now working alongside the competition at WCW while Owen was still in the World Wrestling Federation. If you were to ask Owen why he was still here instead of leaving with his brother, he would tell you that he really didn't know. That of course, would be a lie.

Owen wasn't as thick as his peers thought he was. Sure he liked to joke around a lot but that didn't mean he wasn't a careful observer. Owen knew there was something more to his brother's "rivalry" with Shawn but he couldn't prove it. Bret was always so careful when it came to his personal life that only Owen would know something was up. He was just that good at keeping his personal life…well…just that – personal. However, Bret's eyes were always the thing that gave him away which is why Owen knew Shawn was special. And it didn't take a rocket scientist to see why either. Shawn was a very beautiful man. In fact, he once heard his brother say that Shawn was a cruel joke created by God for his own amusement. Shawn was 6'1, 225 pounds of pure sin. His long blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes and perfect body would put any gay man in a coma. Owen could only imagine how women felt watching him each night as he swayed those perfect hips in the ring. Owen was not really gay…not really. To be honest, Owen was totally into women and wouldn't dream of actually being with a man except…Shawn was different. He knew Shawn was different because it was Shawn who effected his decision to stay with Vince.

Owen remembered the night like it was yesterday even though it was a little over a year in his past. Bret spit on Vince McMahon, grabbed a microphone and proceeded to thank all his fans for support. After that he paced the ring for a little while as he, Jimmy and Davey looked on fearfully. Bret was so angry that he tore up a lot of equipment before storming up the ramp to find Shawn. Owen lurked nearby watching the confrontation between the rivals. Shawn was crying, shaking his head as Bret screamed at him, shoving him hard against the wall. Owen shouldn't have felt anything for Shawn that night but it was something about his eyes…the pained expression on his face and the fear in his eyes that made Owen wonder.

"I _never_ want to see you again."

Those were his brother's last words and when he left the blonde, Owen lingered just long enough to watch Shawn slide down the wall in a fit of sobs while Hunter held him in his arms attempting to comfort him. A week later Owen was on the phone turning down his brother's offer at a WCW contract. He knew it was possibly career suicide considering Shawn wasn't pulling Vince out of the hole yet. Of course Owen knew one man wasn't the blame for the World Wrestling Federation's failure but since Shawn was the new face of the company, it was just something that came along with the territory. The champ was blamed for everything from poor merchandise sales to bad ratings. Raw's ratings weren't bad; they just weren't beating WCW, something Shawn was having a hard time accepting.

Like now…Shawn was sitting on the bench taping his wrists but Owen could tell that he was troubled. In fact, since Bret's departure from the 'F, Shawn's behavior was nothing short of troublesome. He was angry all the time, throwing fits all over the place when things didn't go his way. His little clique in the form of Hunter, Chyna, and the NAO weren't helping matters either. Owen could only watch from a distance, often in the shadows, a man who was suffering in silence. His friends didn't know and if they did, they were too stupid to care. For instance, Bret was gone and Hunter was only to happy to pick up the pieces. It disgusted Owen to see Shawn used and neglected like that but it wasn't his place to get involved. So…he watched. He waited and watched each week as the blonde slipped farther and farther into depression. A part of him really wished he could comfort him. While Bret would never own up to it, he knew his brother missed Shawn. However, Harts were stubborn and Bret would never be the one to just apologize for anything, especially if he was wrong.

A choke, and then sobs followed. Owen watched from the crack in the door as Shawn doubled over, sobbing into the palm of his hands. Owen sighed. He'd been watching Shawn suffer for a really long time but he knew sooner or later he needed to let him know. Owen quietly pushed the door open being careful not to draw too much attention to himself. Shawn was in his own private locker room, mainly because it was Vince's orders. Protect his most valuable star, but Owen knew it was necessary. So many people hated Shawn and the ones who didn't just wanted to fuck him. Owen shut the door as quietly as he could locking the door behind him. They still had a good ten minutes before the show actually started and since Shawn was the main event, he still had a good hour or so.

Shawn heard the latch click and he jerked his head up quickly, a shocked expression on his face. "What are you doing here?" he asked. He quickly wiped his eyes, his cheeks flushing from embarrassment. Owen was sure that was the first time he ever saw Shawn embarrassed about anything.

Owen shrugged. "I don't really know."

"Oh." Shawn went back to taping his wrists while Owen stood idly by watching him quietly. It was pretty awkward but then why shouldn't it have been? It wasn't like they were friends and if you were to ask an outsider about it, they'd probably say Owen needed a good kick in the rear for being near his brother's number one rival. That's what they'd say but Owen didn't care. He didn't care because no one knew his brother like him and he knew deep down that he was right. Bret and Shawn were a lot closer than most people think, but he was going to keep it to himself because it wasn't his place.

"You look like him."

Owen frowned. "Excuse me?"

"I mean…you're blonde but I can still see a lot of him in you."

"Bret?"

Shawn nodded. "I don't know why you're here but if it's to give me hell about Montreal I don't think you can say anything to me that hasn't already been said."

"Shawn, if I wanted to blame you for Montreal, I would have done it alongside my brother last year. If anything I just want to say that you've got guts going out there tonight. I know I couldn't do it."

Shawn shrugged. "It's no big deal. If they kill me then so be it."

"You don't…seriously mean that do you?"

"Doesn't matter and anyway shouldn't you be elsewhere?" Shawn asked dismissively. "I would think you'd want to stay far, far away from me."

"Why would I want to do that?"

Shawn merely rolled his eyes. "I'm pretty sure it was _I_ that screwed your brother over last year."

"And what does that have to do with me?"

Shawn scoffed. "Are you kidding me? Bret's your brother. I screwed him. Wouldn't that make us enemies by default?"

Owen remained silent for a second choosing his words carefully. "Maybe I don't see it that way. I'm not one for making enemies Shawn. You're no exception to the rule."

"Then why are you here?" he asked, suddenly growing defensive. "You shouldn't be here and you know it! Are you here just for kicks? Just to…just to spy for your brother?"

"Shawn-

"Why are you in here dammit?!" he snapped. "Everyone else hates me and they all blame me for the bad ratings so why are you here? Are you here to gloat? To rub it in that Bret was better suited to be a leader than me because if you are then-

"Shawn calm down," Owen said quietly. "I don't…I didn't mean to upset you. If my being here is that upsetting then I'll go. I just figured you could use a friend right now."

"I have friends," he answered coldly.

"Apparently not very good ones."

"What do you know about my friends?" Shawn snapped. "And where do you get off coming in here-

"Shawn, I don't have the patience for one of your little tantrums," Owen stated calmly. "I only came by to check on you. It wasn't to gloat and it sure as hell wasn't for my brother."

"Forgive me if I don't believe you." Shawn grabbed his belt hoisting it over his shoulder. "I'll need you to move out of the way. I'm leaving."

Owen unlatched the door holding it open for him. "After you…_princess_." Owen didn't know what he had done or said to scare Shawn like that. All he knew was that maybe he shouldn't have tried to make a joke. Shawn let the belt fall to the floor and started trembling to the point where Owen was sure he was having a seizure. "Shawn?" Owen rushed to his side grabbing hold of him before he could hit the floor. "Shawn? Shawn what's-

He was crying – sobbing uncontrollably and Owen had absolutely no idea why. Owen guided him back to the bench and sighed when Shawn just folded into him, clinging to him as if his life depended on him. "Shawn…I…I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry."

"Just…just hold me," he answered and so Owen did. He held him close to his chest, his sweet smell and warm body drawing him closer to the blonde. He didn't understand it but that didn't matter...at least not right now. All that mattered was that he was finally doing what he needed to do since turning down that contract.

"Hey Shawn you—

Both Owen and Shawn jumped at the voice; Owen practically flushing from embarrassment. It was Hunter standing in the door, a look of confusion on his face. Owen had forgot all about the door being open which meant it was possible that others saw them too. This was not good.

"What do you want Hunt?" Shawn asked, slowly untangling himself from Owen's hold.

"Uh…you're…promo time," he managed all the while glaring daggers at Owen.

"Oh okay. Be there in a second." Hunter nodded but not before shooting Owen another dirty look as he left.

Owen shook his head. "Guess that's my cue to leave." He stood to his feet. "Have a nice night Shawn."

"Owen…wait!" Shawn ran to the door stopping Owen. "Thanks. You're right. I did need a friend. Bret would have been nice, but I ruined that for good last year."

"It's fine Shawn. Good luck out there tonight and take care of yourself. I'd hate for you to have to spend the rest of Christmas Eve in a hospital," he joked.

Shawn finally smiled and Owen was quickly reminded why Bret was so smitten with him. "Thanks and I hope you don't take this personally." Shawn pressed his lips to Owen's for a quick kiss. "Merry Christmas Owen." Owen watched the now smiling blonde hurry out the room to take on a very hostile Montreal crowd. In the meantime, he was about to head home to Calgary for the evening. _Maybe after I watch his match…_ Owen smiled inwardly as he headed after the blonde. After all it was his job to look after him and he wouldn't have a Merry Christmas without knowing the blonde was safe.

**-TBC…**


	2. Chapter 2

**~Chapter II~**

**~**~**

_For Heartbreak DX and Seraphalexiel_

**~*~*~**

Shawn had a great match that night against Davey Boy who also stuck around after the "incident" last year. He just couldn't bring himself to leave the only thing he knew. Plus Eric might have been killing Vince in the ratings, but at least Davey knew he wouldn't be fired anytime soon. Owen felt the same way, but unlike Davey, that wasn't the only reason he stuck around. After their match, Davey bid Owen a good night promising to him at Stu's some time tomorrow. Bret and his girlfriend, Davey and his wife, all of the family were meeting at Stu's (their dad's) place for a big Christmas dinner. When Davey finally left him, Owen lingered in the break room waiting for Shawn to come backstage. It wasn't long before Owen heard the sound of rowdy laughter coming from outside the door. He scoffed at the sounds, knowing that it could only be Shawn's inner circle.

"So guys, what are we doing tonight?" James asked.

"I say we do nothing," Shawn grumbled. "I'm tired and I'd much rather spend the next to days curled up in a warm bed…with a warm body," he hinted.

Both Joanie and Sean laughed at this apparently thinking it was a joke. "Shawn…I know you don't mean that," Joanie said with a grin. "You're Mr. Heartbreak Kid which means you were born to party hard every night."

"Yeah babes. I say we go for a drink," Hunter added.

"I…don't know guys. Maybe…maybe tomorrow but I just can't tonight. I really don't think I can keep my eyes open. Besides, we partied all night last night."

"Yeah but live a little Shawny," Sean coaxed. "You're the _champ_. Why not go out and celebrate in style? Bring in the Christmas with your buddies?"

"I'll pass for now but uh…maybe I'll catch up with you guys later. Alright?"

"Alright Shawn. Catch you later," they all said as they hearded out of the arena in fits of laughter about something or another. They didn't even notice that the break room door was open nor did they hear the hints of sadness in Shawn's voice. Owen waited until Shawn headed to the locker room before creeping down the hall out of the arena.

--

--

Owen didn't have to wait too long before Shawn came slowly trudging out of the arena, the cold Montreal air clearly getting to him. Even though Shawn was bundled up, he still appeared to be freezing half to death. Owen watched Shawn look around as if waiting for someone before he started out of the arena parking lot. _I know he isn't about to walk…_

Owen blew the horn of his truck, startling the blonde. Shawn hurried towards the truck a little taken back when the door opened for him.

"Owen?"

"Yeah now get in! It's fucking freezing!"

"Uh…well…"

"Come on Shawn. It's either ride or die before you even make it a block." Shawn reluctantly got inside the vehicle mumbling a thanks to the younger brother. "Don't mention it," he grinned. "So where to?"

"I…don't really know. Hunter was supposed to book us a room for the night but I can't get in touch with him to find out. So…I was just gonna find a room at the nearest hotel then fly out to San Antonio in the morning."

"_On Christmas_? Dude," he laughed. "I'm not trying to pick or anything like that but have you any idea what holiday traveling is like? I doubt very seriously you'll be able to get a plane to San Antonio, let alone at a decent price."

"Yeah well I can't stay here. Someone might recognize me. Better to be home alone than here where everyone hates me."

Owen glanced over at the blonde who was now leaning against the window, his long hair covering half of his face. Owen could see from his reflection in the glass that he was sad, almost to the point of tears even. Owen sighed. Bad idea or not, he wasn't going to quit now. "Say Shawn? How about you stay the night with me tonight?"

"Yeah right," he scoffed. "Just so your brother can—

"No, no hear me out first. You see, we're all supposed to meet up at my dad's later tomorrow for dinner but until then I have my whole house to myself. It's a three bedroom house. You can sleep in one of the guest rooms for the night and then first thing in the morning, see about catching a flight back to Texas."

"I can't Owen. I just can't."

"Why not Shawn?" he asked. "It's not like you have anywhere else to go. What's the point of wasting money on a room when you can stay in one for free? Plus, I know you're tired. That's why you didn't go out with Hunter and them."

"How'd you…?"

"Because I was in the break room and heard you guys talking. You're tired but they didn't seem to notice. Like I said earlier, some friends."

"Bret said the same thing," he scoffed. "They're my friends no matter what you think."

"Alright fine but at least stay the night," he pleaded. "I promise you won't be bothered by Bret or anyone else for that matter. Besides uh…I'm…pretty sure they'd kill me if they knew," he added.

"I'm not worth the risk Owen. Trust me."

"Let me decide that for myself now will you stay? Please?"

"Whatever," he mumbled and went back to staring out the window. Calgary was only about an hour's drive from Montreal and by the time they reached Owen's place, Shawn was sound asleep against the door. Owen shook his head._ I knew he was wiped out._ Owen got out of the truck first, grabbing both his bags and Shawn's taking them into the house. He made sure the house looked decent (it did since he was never home anyway) before going back to wake Shawn.

Shawn didn't put up much of a fuss as Owen helped him out of his truck. He led Shawn down a hall, their footsteps barely registering to the thick burgundy carpet. "You can sleep in here for the night. There's a restroom to your left. Should have everything you need. I'll be up for a while in case you need something. Goodnight Shawn."

Owen retreated to his own room which was right across the hall from Shawn. Owen took a long, hot shower doing his best to shake the conflicting feelings about the situation. He stayed on Raw to watch over Shawn but even he knew bringing Shawn to Calgary might have been pushing it. Still though…it wasn't in his nature to be cruel and while Bret was pretending to hate Shawn, Owen knew his brother was just putting on.

Owen quickly threw on some boxers and made his way across the hall to check on Shawn. The blonde was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring down at the floor, his long hair blanketing his face. "Shawn?"

He quickly looked up forcing a smile. "Oh I…I'm sorry. I was just thinking."

"No need to apologize princess," he grinned. Shawn quickly looked away again which in turn made Own frown. He took a seat next to Shawn, his eyes immediately rounding on the picture hanging on the wall. Across from them were family pictures but the one standing out was of him and Bret dressed in their wrestling gear holding Canadian flags proudly. That's when Owen realized his mistake. He probably should have put Shawn in the other guest room; the room with no pictures of Bret. _Oh I seriously screwed up._

"Shawn I'm sorry for bringing you in here," Owen winced. "I forgot…the pictures…"

"They're really nice," he said softly. "He looks happy; both of you do." Shawn looked over at him, forcing another tired smile. "I'd do anything to see him smile like that again. I do miss him…his friendship I mean."

He turned away again letting the silence fill the room. Owen didn't know what to say to this. He knew his brother was suffering as well but he couldn't prove it. Each time Shawn's name was brought up, Bret would explode, reminding everyone of how much he hated Shawn and that would be the end of it. Owen tried once before to get Bret to speak of Shawn but it only started an argument that Owen only wished he could take back. He chuckled softly. "I wish I could see him smile like that again too."

Shawn looked over at him, a frown wrinkling his pretty face. "He doesn't smile for you?"

Owen shook his head. "Not since our last argument. I said some things…about you and he flipped out. Seemed to think I was betraying him."

"You kind of are right now Owen," Shawn winced. "He hates me. I'm your brother's number one rival and enemy for life. Even I can understand how he must feel."

"It's a lie Shawn," Owen answered. "A lie. I know my brother better than him and I can tell he misses you."

Shawn turned away, unable to meet Owen's eyes any longer. "Doesn't matter Owen. What's done is done."

"Shawn…I don't mean to pry but…I have to know. My brother will never tell me because he's afraid I'll hate him, but I'm not that guy Shawn. I could never hate him for anything. I just…it would help me understand him better if I knew the truth; if I knew that my feelings about him were right."

Shawn shrugged. "Ask away. It's not like I'll be talking with him again anyway."

Owen took a deep breath. "Alright. Shawn…I think my brother is in love with you and I just want to know…do you love him too?"

Shawn didn't answer. He couldn't. His throat was too knotted up to answer, not to mention he was having a hard time being in a Hart's home. "I…I'm going to bed," he managed.

"Shawn—

"No…Owen I can't…"

"Princess—

"God stop it Owen!" he choked. "Don't…call me that!"

"Is that what he called you Shawn?" Owen asked. "My princess…I've heard him say it—

"No! Just…Why are you doing this to me?" he cried. "I don't…you bring me to your house in order to trap me…is that it?" he asked. "Are you trying to make me cry in order to get vengeance for your brother?"

"No, Shawn I already told you that I'm different. I don't want to hurt you!" he pleaded but Shawn wasn't hearing it.

"Then why are you calling me that? You know…you know only he called me that and I…"

"You love him."

"Fuck, Owen shut up!" he screamed. "I don't love him! I don't love anyone! I hate him! He left me! He…he…"

Owen wrapped his arms around Shawn, ignoring his protests. "Shawn….princess stop it."

"I hate that name," he sobbed. "I hate it! I'm not a princess! I'm a devil. Everyone hates me…"

"No they don't," Owen whispered. "I don't hate you." He pulled Shawn into his chest, running his fingers through silky hair he was sure his brother was missing.

"You do," Shawn choked again. "You said it…that day…"

"No, princess that wasn't me," he answered quickly. "I don't hate you. Never hate Shawn."

"Stop…let me go," he cried trying his best to push away but Owen held on tightly.

"I won't let you go. Not until you realize that I'm here for you. I'll always look after you."

"But why? Why would you look after me? I'm a slut, a drunk, a pill popper and champion that no one respects except between the sheets. You can't possibly…"

"My brother sees something special in you Shawn and so do I."

"No—

"Princess he loves you so, so much that it's tearing him apart each and every day. I know you can't make up for what you did and he won't apologize because he's too stubborn but at least know that he cares about you despite his words and so do I Shawn. I care about you _very_ much."

Shawn shook his head. "Lies," he whispered.

"Not lies Shawn. I mean it. I care about you very, much. The one who will always be second best to the great Bret Hart adores you more than you or he could ever know," he confessed. "I can't stand to see you hurting which is why I don't care what others think. I brought you here at great personal risk to my relationship with my family but you know what? Something tells me I'm doing the right thing. I just got this feeling Shawn…only someone as special as you could bring this out of me."

Shawn looked up at him his eyes searching Owen's face for signs of lies, but Owen wasn't kidding. In fact, he just said a whole bunch of stuff he really didn't mean to say which had him scared. He cared about Shawn, but just how much, he couldn't be sure. Shawn's piercing wet gaze bore into him and Owen feared he'd never breathe again. Beautiful. Shawn was absolutely fucking beautiful and like Bret, was starting to believe Shawn was a joke sent by God.

Shawn reached up to cup his face tenderly drawing him in for a kiss. It was slow, their lips barely moving at first until Shawn took control drawing Owen closer to him. The warmth, Shawn needed to feel wanted but Owen didn't know that. All he knew was that the man he'd been fascinated with since Montreal was engaging him in a kiss and by God he was kissing him back. Owen wasn't thinking anymore. His brain officially shut off when Shawn's lips met his so he couldn't be reminded of the consequences of taking advantage of someone like Shawn. His body acted on its own accord, pressing Shawn down into the quilt as he planted tiny kisses down his body. Shawn curled his fingers in Owen's hair, the small gesture awakening a hunger in Owen he never knew existed for a man – _this_ man.

Owen pressed his lips to Shawn's neck, licking and tasting the delicious flesh that drove men crazy. His hands roamed the rest of Shawn's body slowly, stopping only to tease his member into hardness. Shawn twisted and moaned from the touch, his breathing getting shallower by the second. Owen messed around and looked into his eyes, falling in love with a gaze he was certain he'd never see again because of life. It didn't matter though – at least not right now. All that mattered was making the man before him scream his name in pleasure; making him forget all of his troubles for one night.

Owen kissed his way down Shawn's body, stopping only to take Shawn into his mouth. "Ahhh please…more," he begged. Owen licked and sucked hard on Shawn's length, his teeth grazing his sensitive member for added pleasure – or at least he hoped it was. Shawn seemed to like this very much, his fingers tightening in Owen's hair. Owen hummed softly, taking Shawn deeper into his mouth until he could feel drops of his cum leaking down his throat. He moved away, smiling from the sound of Shawn's whimpers.

"I'll let you cum beautiful, but you'll do it with me." Owen licked his fingers inserting them into the blonde. He jumped then groaned welcoming the intrusion.

"Now…please…take me," he begged.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"Just do it. I…I need it."

Owen spread his legs, thrusting inside of him. "Oh…fuck…tight…so, so tight. Shawn I might explode." Shawn arched his back slowly moving under Owen until he finally took control. Owen bit down on Shawn's neck, thrusting faster and harder inside of him.

Shawn clung to him, begging him to let him cum. "Owen...Owen please..."

"Not yet…not yet…fuck! You're so good…" Owen moved to kiss his lips one last time before his hips finally bucked. "Oh God...now Shawn…" One final thrust sent them both to climax. Owen spilled himself inside of him, collapsing on top of his…well, he wasn't sure. It took him a minute to pull out being that he rather enjoyed his position but he knew that wasn't right. Owen lay down beside Shawn pulling him close, covering the two of them up. A sudden wave of guilt washed over him making him feel uneasy. _I shouldnt' have..._

"I'm sorry," he suddenly blurted out. "God Shawn I'm…"

"It's okay. I kissed you remember?"

"But I—

"Don't worry about it. It's Christmas Eve. Let's just make this a gift to the both of us. You…for not leaving me alone for Christmas in a stuffy hotel room. If it wasn't for you, I'd be somewhere passed out from drinking too much. I've been doing it a lot since Bret and yes, I am ashamed."

"I can't possibly know the pain you feel each day but Shawn, don't let this part of your life ruin you. You're amazing in the ring and a beautiful person. I watch so many people take advantage of you and it makes me sick. I know if my brother was around none of this shit would be happening to you. I don't have the pull that my brother had ya know? I've always been seen as just "second best"; the little brother of big bad Bret which makes it hard for me to get a say around here."

"Owen, I know I told you you're like him and you are in a way, but unlike Bret, you're easier to get along with. You're passionate snd unafraid to say what's on your mind. I'm glad I spent the night with you and you know what? You're not just second best Owen. Honestly…after tonight, I can't help but wonder why I didn't notice you first. You're so sweet." Shawn reached up and pulled Owen's lips to his. "Merry Christmas Owen."

"I…" he stopped himself. He wasn't sure what was about to come out of his mouth so instead he smiled. "Merry Christmas prin…Shawn."

Shawn smiled. "Princess will do, but only a Hart can get away with it."

Owen held the blonde closer to him, kissing the top of his head. "Princess…sweet dreams my princess."

**-TBC…**

**~*~*~  
**

**AN: Nope. Still not done yet. It's a few shot that has an ending that I will get to eventually. Owen muse hit me hard so I got to make use of him before I get back to…to that other fic that shall not be named. I think we have 2 chapters left. Hope you're enjoying this long ass Christmas "oneshot". Ha Ha**


	3. Chapter 3

**~~Chapter III~~**

**~*~*~**

_For Heartbreak DX_

**~**~  
**

**Calgary Alberta, Canada 1998**

**Christmas Day**

Owen could not sleep. He might have dozed off for a few after Shawn fell asleep but his brain just wouldn't shut off long enough to put him at ease. Owen glanced over at the clock. It was almost 7 o'clock which meant he'd been staring out the window at the snow for almost three hours. Owen looked away from the window back towards the sleeping figure in the bed. Shawn was dead to the world, his body tangled beautifully in the pink sheets. Owen quickly turned away and went back to gazing into nothingness. He had a lot on his mind; all of it having to do with Bret and Shawn.

Shawn didn't know this but Owen had not spoken to Bret in almost three weeks. Their last blow up was something serious and Owen had to admit that it was mostly his fault. Bret and Davey were playing some cards with Owen and their father Stu. The conversation was – as usual – pertaining to wrestling. They were having some laughs about the on goings of WCW but then Shawn's name was brought up. Bret was bragging about how WCW was kicking Vince's ass in the ratings and Bret was trying to coax Owen in to joining him. Their father got in on the argument but Owen declined again. Things got pretty awkward when Davey joked about Owen watching Shawn a lot.

Of course he was just teasing but there was some truth to it. Owen made it his personal mission to make sure Shawn was alright, mainly because he felt sorry for him, but Davey had no idea. Bret sort of shrugged it off and went on to tease Davey about how Shawn was possibly the worst champion in the history of champions. They kept on and on, getting a good laugh but Owen didn't find it very funny. In fact, all he could think about was the way Shawn's friends used him and how often he would find Shawn crying when he thought no one was watching. Add that to all the guys jacking him up in the showers trying to get a piece of him and it was enough to make Owen sick to his stomach. He threw his cards down on the table and left the kitchen table, his big brother running after him to see what was wrong.

"Go away Bret."

"What the hell's your problem man? Why'd you get up and leave like that? We still have a couple more hands to play."

"I don't feel like playing anymore."

"Liar. What'd we do? What I say to piss you off? Was it something I said about Vince?"

"No, Bret," he sighed. "Just…forget it. I don't give a damn about Vince. He's just the guy that signs my paychecks."

"Then what is it?" he laughed. "I know you're trying to exercise some kind of loyalty but remember, family first."

"How could I forget?" he said, rolling his eyes. "I'm about to go to the house. I got some stuff to do."

"Wait. Owen what the hell man? What the fuck is your problem?" Bret grabbed his brother's should snatching him around. Owen shoved his brother hard, almost pushing him against the wall.

"Fuck off Bret. I told you to drop it," he snapped.

"What is it dammit?!" he yelled. By now, Stu and Davey were making their way to the living room to make sure the two of them were alright.

"Hey…boys…stop this nonsense!" Stu ordered. "I wont be having any of it."

"Yeah, well Owen shoved me," Bret growled. "All I asked was why the fuck he got so pissed. I didn't say anything off the wall about Vince, but he knows I could and it would be very much justified. Vince screwed me over, but it seems someone has forgotten all about it," he spat.

"Oh yeah right," Owen scoffed. "Just so you know big brother, everyday I'm reminded of why you left for the rival company. I can't take a shit without someone walking by asking me why I stayed with Vince. I get talked about behind my back and what's worse, I'm still only seen as "second best"."

"But you're getting a shot next month at _In Your House_."

"Bret, I don't give a _damn_ about that belt anymore!" he screamed. "There are more important things than just some stupid piece of tin."

"Then what is it?!" Bret demanded. "Why the hell are you staying there if you're suffering so much!?"

"Because as much as I'm talked about from day to day, my suffering is _nothing_ compared to someone else's. He's been suffering ever since the day you told him you hated his guts and I'm sick of it!"

Bret took a step back, his face showing signs of realization and disbelief. "Shawn. You're talking about Shawn."

"Of course I'm talking about him!" Owen screamed. "Who else would I be talking about?"

"You're defending that snake after what he did to me?"

"Me, me, me…it's always 'me' when it comes to you Bret!" Owen accused. "What about 'they'? What about 'him'? What about someone other than yourself? You talk about Shawn like he's some infectious disease and you know what? You may be right about the infectious part."

"Shut up!" Bret growled.

"No, _you_ shut up dammit! I've had it up to here with your attitude! Just who the hell do you think you are? You think you're the only person who's ever been betrayed Bret?"

"I said _shut up_!"

"Sometimes I wonder if what happened to you that day happened for a reason," Owen said continued. "I love you. You're my brother and I'll always love you, but you're a hypocrite and a liar Bret. Montreal…" he shook his head. "I'm not going to tell you what I think because of your pride."

"No! Go ahead and tell me what you think," Bret shot back.

"Naa. You're too proud and you'd never admit it anyway, but know this Bret," he said pointing a finger accusingly. "I know what you're feeling, I know what you felt, and I know that it is all a lie. You can hate him all you want – all of you – but I refuse to sit here and listen to it. You don't see what I see everyday and if you guys don't like it, then count me out of the Christmas celebrations. I'd rather spend Christmas alone than spend it with you."

Bret and Owen hadn't spoken since the argument and sadly, Owen wasn't sure if they ever would speak again. The whole story he fed Shawn about Christmas dinner was only partly true. There really was a big dinner planned for the family only Owen wasn't sure he was family anymore – at least in Bret's eyes. Stu had called him several times making sure he knew to come to the dinner despite Bret, but Owen declined. He refused to make the dinner awkward for the children if he and Bret were obviously having issues. Plus, if Owen knew his brother like he think he knew him, then that meant he should definitely stay away for fear of what Bret might say during the dinner.

Owen glanced over at the bed again. Shawn was still sound asleep, sleeping as if he didn't have a care in the world. Shawn was supposed to get out of bed and fly out to Texas today but Owen just couldn't bring himself to wake him. _I guess it'll be alright. We're both alone anyway… _Owen walked over to the bed and planted a kiss on his cheek before heading towards the kitchen. He was up so he may as well get the day started. It didn't really feel like Christmas to Owen but he was going to make the best of it. He put on some coffee, preheated the oven then looked around for stuff to make breakfast. Being on the road a lot had a lot of disadvantages; one of them being the lack of time to do proper grocery shopping. _Looks like I'll be going to the store… _

Owen quickly put on some clothing, being sure to add about 2 extra tanks. It snowed all night and it was still snowing today. His yard was already covered in about a foot of snow and he was pretty sure the wind chill was still below freezing, but he was hungry. He was just going to have to deal with it for now. Owen grabbed his keys and started out the door. He stopped dead in his tracks on the porch, a look of bewilderment on his face.

"What are you doing here?"

Bret was looking down at his snow, covered feet avoiding Owen's gaze. "We need to talk."

"Talk later. I'm going to the grocery store."

"Why?"

"Because I'm starving," he mumbled. Owen stepped off the porch heading straight for his truck, deliberately passing Bret without so much as a second glance.

"Owen wait…we're still eating at dad's tonight."

"I'm not going," he mumbled as he fidgeted with his keys.

"Why not?"

Owen turned to his brother looking clearly annoyed. "Why do you think Bret?"

"Can we talk about this inside?"

"No, because I – dammit Bret…" But he was already running up the porch. Owen traipsed back up the walkway to the porch, grumbling about his brother. Only when he entered the living room after Bret did he remember who was lying in a bed naked down the hall.

Owen closed the door as quietly as he could before turning to glare at Bret. "Go away. Go home and have Christmas with your family."

"You're family too Owen and I don't know why you got all 'drama queen' on us all of a sudden. It's like you've suddenly changed."

"Yeah well the right people can do that to you."

"You mean Shawn?"

"No…maybe...but that's not the point!" he hissed. "If anything he changed _you_ first."

"Like_ hell_ that bastard did!" Bret said loudly.

"Would you stop yelling!" Owen screamed. "God! Just…just go Bret! I already told you I'm not coming so leave it be."

"I'm sorry for yelling and…why are you pushing me away like this?" he demanded. "It's not like you. Are you…do you have a date or something?" he asked curiously.

"Oh yeah right," he scoffed. "As if I'd have a date on Christmas and anyway, what's it to you? Don't you have that…that blonde girl…Susie—

"Jessica."

"Whatever. You got her so go be with her."

Bret shook his head. "You're being impossible Owen. Just get over yourself and come have dinner with the family. If it'll make you feel better, I'll refrain from calling you bad blood tonight for defending that liar named Shawn."

"Stop talking about him that way!" Owen snapped. "You don't know him—

"I know him a lot better than you!" Bret yelled. "I've known him longer—

"And still clueless as ever Bret," Owen spat coldly. "You know nothing of what that man's been going through."

"And here we go again…you defend him! You're defending him as if you love him or something."

"It's not like that!"

"Then what is it?" Bret demanded. "What the hell's going on with you?"

"I—

_ding!_

"Shit! I left the oven on." Owen hurried into the kitchen turning the temp down on the oven. Had he not been delayed, the oven would have been perfect for toast. Owen turned to leave but ended up colliding with his older brother. "Fuck Bret!" He was unaware that Bret had followed behind him and to make matter's worse, Bret's eyes were fixed on the guest room door that was left slightly ajar. Owen caught his gaze, his stomach turning to jelly at the thought of Bret seeing Shawn. "Bret, will you move out the way?" he snapped irritably. "Go home so I can get back to making me some breakfast."

"Breakfast for one huh?" he asked, still staring at the door.

"None of your business."

Bret looked down at his brother and smirked. "I _knew _it. You have a friend over don't you? Is that why you've been acting weird?"

"I…no," he lied, but Bret was already pushing past him towards the guest room. "Bret no…don't…" he called after him but it was too late. Bret pushed the door open slowly, his body tensing up with each passing second. Shawn was still lying in bed sound asleep, clutching his pillow. Bret cast his brother a side long death glare before pushing him out the way and storming up the hall with Owen hot on his heels. "Bret—

"You're sleeping with the enemy," he managed through clenched teeth.

"It's not like that!"

"Then what is it Owen?" he screamed, turning to face his brother. Owen expected a lot of things but what he didn't expect were the tears in his brother's eyes. Bret was fighting hard not to cry but the tears were already spilling over to his face.

"Bret—

"I hope the two of you have a merry Christmas Owen. I'll tell dad you were still pissed at me." Bret left without another word, the betrayed look in his eyes weighing heavily on Owen. Before Owen knew it, he was on his knees crying his heart out. Never in his life had he felt so guilty and a part of him was starting to wonder if this was the right thing anymore. He never, _ever_ intended to sleep with Shawn but then he also didn't plan on falling in love with him either. Love. He wasn't even sure if he loved the man or not, but it sure as hell felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest which led him to believe that maybe Bret really was justified to feel the way he felt. Confusing. It was all too confusing for him.

Smaller arms slowly encircled him from behind and then a tender kiss to his head. "What's wrong Owen?"

"Nothing," he lied. "Just hold me."

And so Shawn did. Shawn held Owen while he wept softly in his arms. Shawn didn't know why he was crying but something inside him just knew it was loneliness. It hurt. Being alone hurt worse than anything else in the world and Shawn knew only too well what Owen must be feeling. "I'm here," he coaxed. "I'm here with you Owen…and I won't leave you. Just like you didn't leave me."

"I'm so wrong for this Shawn. I shouldn't have put you in this position."

"What position?"

"Nothing." He couldn't tell him. He didn't have the heart to.

"Do you want me to leave? I'll go if you want...or I can stay. I'll be right here when you get back from your dinner."

"I'm not wanted…I'm not going," he changed quickly. "I don't want to be around my family. Not right now," he lied.

"What do you want Owen?"

Owen stood to his feet and pulled Shawn into his arms. "I want you to stay with me for Christmas princess. Can you do that?"

Shawn looked up at him and smiled. "Of course."

Owen drew him in for another kiss. _God I'll miss this…_ "Mmm…let's have a Merry Christmas together Shawn. No one exists today except us. Deal?"

"Deal."

**_---TBC..._**

**AN: Not quite done. One more chapter should so it. It might be a little long but there's still another part left. Hope you're enjoying this. Owen certainly is. He's the new muse that has been brought to life via "Heart to Hart" and this. Don't forget this is still slightly AU being as I have no idea how long it takes to get to Calgary from Montreal. Ha Ha**


	4. Chapter 4

_AN: I was listening to "O Come, O Come, Emmanuel" and "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Whitney Houston over and over as I typed these last two chapters. Oddly enough when I went back and read over the lyrics, they actually fit the story. Lots of allegories and symbolism…man I feel smart. Crit theory did wonders for my fanfiction. If you can stand to listen to anything religious and the sound of Whitney Houston, I recommend listening to the song before reading the chapter. You might get the gist of what I was feeling. _

_

* * *

_**~~Chapter IV~~**

**~*~*~**

_For HeartbreakDX and FicFource_

**~*~**~*~  
**

**Calgary Alberta, Canada 2009**

**Christmas Eve **

_Oh come, O come Emmanuel_

_And ransom captive Israel_

_That mourns in lonely exile here_

_Until the son of God appears_

_Rejoice! Rejoice! _

_Emmanuel, shall come to thee o Israel_

Shawn was sound asleep and dreaming; or at least that's what he thought. All he could see in his mind were images of Owen and Bret – two men he would never see again. Why? Well…one was dead and the other may as well have been, but Shawn could never dismiss him like that. Twelve years. Twelve long years have passed since that awful incident in Montreal and Bret still hated his guts. Of course it didn't help that Shawn gave up on reaching out to him but what was the point? Bret left him and the company on such bad terms that the media had a field day with it. Every time Shawn grabbed a paper or magazine, there was some quote from Bret about how much he hated Shawn's guts. It hurt at first. Shawn could remember a time where he cried every second he was alone. Of course his tears turned hallow after he suffered his back injury a year later. Shawn always believed that his back injury was God's way of punishing him for Montreal. Since then, Shawn managed to make peace with God, but all the peace and love in the world could not fill the still nagging pain in his heart for what he did to two brothers.

Not long after the Montreal incident, Shawn and Owen got close. To this day, Shawn couldn't bring himself to feel guilty at having slept with the brother of his ex lover for nothing in the world. It was probably selfish, but no one could possibly understand it. Owen was just the little brother of Bret, but at the same time, it sometimes felt like Owen _was_ Bret. And maybe that was why he enjoyed their secret time alone in the locker rooms every night. They never once slept together after that one night because he supposed they both knew it was wrong, but Owen never said anything. He never once showed any signs of being embarrassed around him, even when other wrestlers caught them playing cards or sharing a drink. He would pretend that they weren't even there and continue on ignoring the hushed whispers and scoffs.

Sometimes Shawn would cry. He would cry because he knew Bret probably knew they were friends which meant Shawn was the reason they were having so many problems. Owen thought Shawn didn't know, but he knew. Hunter knew all the gossip and word eventually got back to him that Owen and Bret weren't talking much anymore. Owen would always kiss his head and tell him it was alright. He'd call him "my princess" and made the promise to watch over him always no matter what anyone else thought. Shawn would always smile and kiss him back, slowly falling in love with "Bret" all over again because he knew Owen would never leave. And even the night Shawn woke up in bed, crying and gasping for air because of his back, Owen was the one that came to his rescue first. He took him to the hospital and was there to hold Shawn when the doctor gave him the news.

"You can't wrestle anymore Shawn. You're finished."

Just the thought of that day always brought tears to his eyes. Not because of the news, but because he proved the doctor wrong just like Owen said he would and he wasn't alive to see it. Owen died just one year later and Shawn always cried at the thought. The day he got the news was the best and worst day of his life. It was even worse than Montreal. Shawn was drunk off his rocker having downed a whole bottle of Jack Daniels and was high on pain killers. The surgery on his back had been completed but he still had pain. The doctor told him it was going to take a while for the pain to completely go away. Shawn was completely alone…or at least it seemed like it. Hunter was making it big by picking up where he left off. WCW was still kicking Vince's ass in the ratings. And Shawn was home alone, wallowing in self pity at having his career cut short. He ignored any and all phone calls from friends because he was ashamed. He didn't want them to see him so weak and pathetic. But for some reason, that particular day he just could not bring himself to ignore the phone call. He'd gotten the call roughly around four in the afternoon. He answered the phone and much to his surprise it was Vince McMahon, another guy who had his heart for various reasons.

"Shawn, sweetheart it's me Vince."

"Oh…hey. Um…it's been a while."

"I know. Say Shawn…the reason I'm calling…"

"Is because you miss me right?" he replied happily.

"Uh…yes I do and I wish you could come back but sweetie, I have news. Um…I don't know how to say this so I'm just gonna come right out and say it."

"Alright. Lay it on me," he giggled.

"Owen Hart…Owen's dead Shawn."

Shawn wasn't really sure what happened after that. He just remember the sanctuary of his church being his protection for the next year. He didn't make it to the funeral. He wanted to go and pay his respects but he knew he would never be welcomed. So rather than cause a disturbance he decided to grieve in private. It took Shawn three more years to completely come to terms with his life. He knew the day he watched the Owen Hart Tribute show on Monday Night Raw that he was going to change his life. Seeing Bret standing there trying to hide the pain by looking strong and seeing so many of Owen's peers crying on national tv gave Shawn all the motivation he needed to get his life right. The only thing he knew at that point was that the church felt safe. It was his sanctuary and while hiding out in the church, he eventually started listening to the lessons. He talked with the priests, allowing them to fill him with words of hope and encouragement. Eventually Shawn found the courage to go to the gym one day and work out.

From there it was the ring and after getting back in his comfort zone, the time came to call up everyone he shut out of his life to apologize. No longer did he want or need to be alone. He apologized to Hunter and Kevin, Vince and even made an attempt to reach out to Bret but he refused to see him. Shawn eventually got a call from Vince after hearing from some of his pupils (Kendrick and Cade) that Shawn was still able to work in the ring. That led to a match at SummerSlam with Hunter and the rest is history. Seven years have passed since then and Shawn still wasn't completely at ease with himself and…he was alone. While Shawn knew Hunter loved him, Shawn also knew that Hunter wasn't right from him. Shawn was now going one direction while Hunter was going another. He refused to hold Hunter back and therefore declined all of his dates. But that wasn't the only reason he didn't want to be with Hunter. It was because his heart still ached for the forgiveness of two men he would never see again and until he could come to terms with losing them both, he would never be at ease. _I'd rather die than to live a life alone and hated…_

**~*~*~**

_Rejoice! Rejoice! _

_Emmanuel shall come to thee o Israel..._

**~**~  
**

Owen watched the sleeping blonde on the bed, a smile creeping up on his face. Shawn was still so very beautiful in person, even though Owen could see him quite clearly in heaven when given the chance. The white sheets adorning Shawn's perfect body were glowing from Owen's light, but he would not be taking Shawn tonight. Not tonight. Shawn still had a long life ahead of him despite the blonde's silent wishes for death. Owen slowly approached the bed, taking a seat beside him. He moved a piece of hair out of Shawn's face hoping God would forgive him for touching. Even at 43, Shawn was still as irresistible as ever. "Shawn?" The blonde stirred in his sleep but didn't wake up. Owen laughed. "Shawn? Princess wake up." Owen ran a finger along his jaw coaxing him to wake up. He muttered something incoherently but he eventually opened his eyes. Owen smiled down at him, his glowing figuring confusing the hell out of Shawn.

"Dreaming…must be," he muttered.

Owen tapped his nose grinning down at him. "Not this time princess. You wanted to see me for Christmas so here I am. You know I always come through for you. I made a promise to you and so here I am."

Shawn blinked a few times. "This is trippy." He pushed himself to a sitting position, stretching his arms in a yawn. When his eyes finally adjusted from his sleep, they rounded back on the glowing figure sitting next to him in the form of Owen Hart. Shawn shook his head. "Nope. Got to be a trippy dream. Owen is dead. You—

"That's true. I'm very much dead Shawn, but right now I need you to forget all about that. I don't have much time tonight so I need you to listen to me. I have some things I need to tell you."

Shawn shook his head. "No way. I'm going back to bed because this can't be real," he wavered. "I…Owen's dead and…and I just can't deal with this right now."

"Shawn, sweetie calm down," he soothed. "I know this seems unreal but—

"Who are you really?" he asked. He was afraid now. His heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest and he was cold – very cold. He folded his arms across his chest and closed his eyes. _It's not real! It's not real! Owen's dead! He's been dead for almost seven years now. I must be tripping or I must be dead too. Am I…?_

"Princess, look at me." Owen reached out to touch his hand and when he did, Shawn's body felt extreme warmth enclose his body. It was so warm and inviting that Shawn almost lost himself in it. "No, Shawn…open your eyes!"

Owen was starting to panic. Shawn was losing himself to the heavenly aura and if he were to drift too far away, he would be gone forever. "Shawn? Open your eyes princess! I didn't come…it's not your time to go yet." Owen quickly drew his hand away only to meet a pair of eyes filled with pain and sadness. Shawn was crying and from the look on his face, Owen could tell that Shawn was wishing he could go away with him.

"Why?" he whispered. "Why did you come if not to take me with you?"

Owen sighed. "Because it's high time I fix some things I didn't get a chance to fix while I was here on earth."

"What needs fixing?" he managed.

Owen leaned forward and kissed his forehead. "I think you know."

Shawn turned away from him. "I can't. I tried and he won't listen. Besides, I'd much rather leave with you."

"It's not your time to go and I need you to do this for me Shawn. I wouldn't have come to you if I knew it would be a complete disaster."

"How do you know Bret will even accept my apology?"

"Because he still loves you."

Shawn's eyes flashed dangerously. "Owen stop it!" he choked. "He…have you _heard _some of the things he's said about me lately?"

"Oh yeah I heard," he answered. "But that was before he suffered a stroke. Since then Shawn, I've been watching my brother more closely and I truly believe if you go to him he'll accept you back into his life. It's what he's always wanted anyway. Sometimes I wonder if he would have eventually come around had he not seen you lying in my bed that day."

Shawn frowned. "What are you talking about? We only made love once."

"I know and I never really told you why I was crying that morning." He sighed. "My brother came by to see me that day. You were still sound asleep and he…he saw you and when I tried to explain, words wouldn't form coherent sentences after seeing the tears in his eyes. He cried for you Shawn and my brother never cries. He's too macho for that but when he saw you…he just…I never felt right since Shawn," he admitted.

"But I…I don't regret—

"I know you don't," he grinned. "You…a part of you has always wished I was Bret but it's understandable. After all, we _are_ a lot alike."

"I…I knew…but I…why'd you…?" Shawn choked back another sob. "Your family…I broke up your family—

"No Shawn," Owen said firmly. "I did that on my own. At the time, I didn't know why I was doing it. I just knew I was supposed to look after you and now I know why." Shawn kept shaking his head, tears streaming down his face. He didn't want to hear anymore. He just wanted Owen to take him away so it would all be over. "Shawn, you're not going with me and that's final. I protected you that year so that you could in turn, protect the one your heart has always longed for. My brother. Bret. You _love_ him."

"But I love you too!" he cried.

"I know, but it's meant to be Shawn," he explained. "You and I…I was brought to you to get you through a difficult time but I am no substitute for Bret. And besides, if you don't go to him tonight, _he_ might be the one leaving with me instead of you."

"Wha…what do you mean?" Shawn asked.

Owen grabbed Shawn, pulling him close. He breathed in the sweet smell of his hair, caressing the back of his head like he used to long ago. "I love you Shawn but my brother needs you. I don't want to see him anywhere other than with the man he loves. You have to go to him tonight. Right now, he's on the floor in his bedroom staring at his nightstand. Inside the drawer is a gun."

"Wha…" Shawn was starting to panic, his crying becoming even more uncontrolled. He coughed, hiccuping and clinging to Owen trying to make sense of his words but the only thing his brain was registering was "dead Bret". "Sh..sh..princess…baby listen to me. You've got plenty of time to get to him, but I _need_ you to do this. You prayed last night for one last chance to see the man you love. You've seen me now go to him. Go to him and I promise you that you will be alright – both of you will."

"But Owen—

"I have to go now." The bright light surrounding Owen was starting to fade along with Owen's figure and Shawn didn't like it. He reached out to Owen and was pulled in for one final kiss. "I love you princess. Now go…go to him…"

"Owen!"

"Good-bye princess." He winked and then he was gone.

_O come, desire of nations, bind_

_Bind as one the hearts of all mankind_

_Bid Thou art our sad divisions cease_

_And be thyself our "King of Peace"_

_**-----Song by: Whitney Houston**_

**---TBC**_**...**_

_**

* * *

**_AN: ONE MORE CHAPTER and then I can toss Owen muse out of my head. I wish he'd take a few others with him. I need a new muse…someone always happy. I think I might start writing Cenicho again. Its way too much fun! Hope there aren't too many mistakes. Too tired and frustrated to check. Hope you enjoyed it!


	5. Chapter 5

**~*~*~**

**Chapter V**

**~**~**

_For HeartbreakDX and my FicFource friends wrestlefan4, Dark Kaneanite, and Seraphalexiel_

**~*~*~*~**

Bret towered over the nightstand, his hands gripping the sides for support. He was crying, his head and chest hurt, and to make matters worse, he was completely and utterly alone on Christmas Eve. Not that Bret actually expected to have visitors. The way he treated his family sometimes, it's a wonder they still even bothered with him. Bret never really got over the Montreal incident, but not for reasons he led the media to believe. Sure he hated Vince McMahon for it and had some kind of contempt for Shawn but Bret knew the first time their eyes met that he could never really hate that blonde. He was too perfect and Bret missed him very much. _Why am I thinking about him again? It was never meant to be! He's a man for fuck's sake!_

Bret sighed. Shawn was a man which meant they could never be together anyway. Bret's father was only ever too happy to explain to the Hart children about being on the road as a professional wrestler. One of the discussions that came up during training was dealing with loneliness. Stu spoke of how easy it was to find oneself attracted to other men, but it was usually out of weakness. Harts were not weak and they weren't allowed to swing the other way. It was wrong. It was against the Bible. It was against everything Harts stood for and Stu wasn't having it. That is why Bret had to keep his relationship with Shawn a secret in the first place. He didn't want to be disowned and at the same time, Bret was not exactly happy that Shawn was a man. He loved him but…it was just so complicated.

But he loved him. By God he loved Shawn more than anything in this world which was why he still felt guilty about leaving him in Montreal. So many times he wanted to just come out and tell the world that he forgave Shawn. He wanted to shout to the universe that he made a mistake by leaving Vince, but he couldn't do it. His father still hated Shawn for lying while Bret was still hurting over his brother's sudden death. Each time Bret thought he had the courage to publically forgive Shawn, someone would mention Owen's name and he would forget. He would remember how thoughtlessly the WWE acted upon the news and would lash out. Often times he'd be reminded of a very heartbreaking scene he witnessed roughly 12 years ago at Owens home - Shawn - his ex lover and rival sound asleep in Owen's bed - and he's say things he didn't really mean.

Bret choked back a sob. He and Owen grew farther apart after that day. They spoke on occasion and managed to make it through another Christmas without killing one another, but things just wasn't the same anymore. Owen didn't look exactly happy but at the same time, he wasn't sad either. If anything there was an unusual glow about him all the time which used to anger Bret all the time. That glowing could only come (in his mind) from having great sex and a loving relationship. After seeing Shawn in Owen's bed, there was no doubt in Bret's mind that they were a couple.

Oh how Bret hated Shawn for a while. The darkness in his heart grew tenfold because he couldn't understand it. He just could not understand how a person like Shawn could betray him by sleeping with his own brother. At the same time he held Owen equally responsible because Owen knew Shawn was weak. He knew Shawn had low self esteem which meant at the time Shawn wasn't exactly hard to tempt into bed, not to mention Bret heard Shawn had been passed around the entire roster. If Bret heard then he was sure Owen knew, but Owen never said a thing about it. He never attempted to apologize for it and that only made Bret resent him even more.

But holding grudges never helps the situation. In fact, holding grudges only makes things worse in the long run. The first sign of that came when Bret suffered his career ending injury from WCW. He was sent packing back home to wallow in self pity. It was a sad time for Bret but his sadness had no end. Just a few months later he found out that his brother was dead. D-E-A-D. Dead. The death of his brother should have turned him dark and cold, but instead it motivated him to stop worrying – and it worked for a while. Bulldog's David along with Nattie and Tyson were up and coming wrestlers readying to start their official training in the famous Stu Hart Dungeon.

Bret volunteered to do most of the training and for three years he trained them nonstop. The training of these future stars kept his mind off of his problems though occasionally he would have visions of Davey Boy in Smith and Owen in Kidd. It was easy to forget the visions until they actually left for the WWE. Once they were gone, Bret was left alone to his thoughts; dark thoughts that almost killed him when he suffered a stroke prior to his Hall of Fame induction. The doctors weren't sure he would ever be the same again but a tiny voice in the back of his head kept telling him to push forward. Bret ignored the doctors by forcing himself out of that wheelchair and into some serious physical therapy. Once again, Bret had a goal to work towards; a goal that kept his mind out of the darkness.

The year is now 2009 and Bret's walking and wrestling as to be expected for his age yet he's still surrounded by darkness. This time it was regret. Bret did the Hall of Fame ceremony as a step towards rebuilding a broken relationship with a man who was like a second father to him. The only condition he asked for was for Shawn to take a hike. He didn't want to look out over the audience into the eyes of a man he both loved and hated. At the time, he was just terrified that he would spill his guts about Owen; about how he knew they were lovers and how much he resented him for stooping so low, but now…now Bret couldn't help but wish he would have seen Shawn's face again. Hating Shawn was so easy to do until you looked into his eyes. His eyes were always so loving and dreamy and those eyes are something he wish he could have seen once more. He needed to know. He had too much thinking time since Montreal; so much time that he managed to convince himself for a while that he never even loved Shawn. He never loved Shawn at all…until he saw his match against Mark at Wrestlemania.

Bret quit watching wrestling all together until the Hart Dynasty debuted in the 'E. He made it his business to watch all of their matches so that he could give them advice on how to improve. But Wrestlemania 25 was being boasted as the end all-end all of Wrestlemania's, and the advertised big draw featured Shawn Michaels attempting to end the Undertaker's streak. Of course Bret was pretty sure Shawn wasn't going to win the match but his curiosity got the better of him and he found himself ordering the PPV. It was a bore. Even the usual Money in the Bank ladder match lacked a certain spark. By the time Shawn's match against Mark rolled around, Bret was sure he would fall asleep.

But then he saw him. Like an angel descending from heaven. Bret sat up on the couch, his eyes completely glued at the man on the screen. Bret hadn't seen Shawn in years and it just amazed him how time had been so good to the blonde. Shawn was still very beautiful, his long hair and contagious smile lighting up the arena. The crowd popped big time for him giving Bret an adrenaline rush he hadn't felt in years.

The match…Bret didn't know much about the build up for the match but the way Mark and Shawn battled in that match you'd think one or the other was fighting for their life. The match was simply unforgettable and more than likely the greatest match he'd ever seen. He didn't bother to watch the rest of the pay per view. Once Shawn performed on a card, you knew it was going to be the best match of the night. He'd heard stories of his matches against Jericho and Kurt, but resentment kept him from looking at them. That night changed his mind. Out of habit, he purchased all of the WWE DVDs just in case and for the next several months, he watched every match that Shawn was in since his 2002 return, allowing his ex to plant himself in his heart all over again.

Tonight he finished watching the last of the dvds opting for one more viewing of Wrestlemania 25. When it was over, he doubled over on the couch, crying until he just couldn't cry anymore. He cried for so long that he feared he would never stop crying and die from lack of air. Die. _Death_. Death was a guy he'd grown accustomed to calling on during dark times and tonight was no different. For eleven straight years, he spent Christmas Eve alone in his bed, miserable. Tonight was worse than the last eleven all together. Tonight…tonight he just couldn't take it anymore. He was done. He was through. Nothing in the world could make him happy. At least if he welcomed death, he would be able to see his brother again. That alone was better than living a miserable, sickly life in loneliness.

Bret pulled open the drawer and grabbed the small hand gun. It felt cool in his hands, a chill he more than welcomed. Safety off. It clicked and then his hand moved towards his head, the cool steel barrow resting against his head. He closed his eyes. This was the end. Tonight he was going to be reunited with his brother leaving this miserable old world behind him. No one would miss him. Maybe the Hart children but they'd live. He taught them everything they needed to know and they would be taken care of. The insurance policies and settlement from Owen's death left more than enough to carry them over. They were fine and knowing that, he could leave this world without feeling any kind of remorse.

"Bret."

_I can hear my brother calling my name…_

Bret's hand started to tremble but he willed himself to hold it steady. In the back of his head, he could see Owen reaching out to him with a sad look on his face.

"Bret!"

_I'm coming Owen. _

It was time.

_click…_

"Bret, no!"

A pair of arms quickly grabbed him from behind, gripping his body in a tight embrace. There were sobs and faint whispers of "thank God" and "Bret" causing his body to tremble uncontrollably. His legs gave way and he dropped to his knees, the gun landing several feet away from him. Bret was angry. Bret was angry, sad, and confused but mostly angry. He wanted to die. He wasn't supposed to be saved. Who was this? And who gave them the right to interfere?

"Let me go!" he cried. "I want to go."

Shawn buried his face in the small of Bret's back. "I can't do that," Shawn whispered. "If you go then I might have to go too."

_That voice…_

Bret's heart stopped, his body tensing up in fear. There was no way…there was just no way he…

"I'm dreaming," Bret whispered. "It must…only a dream. The dvds…I watched too many of them tonight. You…"

"I'm here," sobbed. "I'm here with you and I _won't_ let you go."

"Who are you?!" Bret cried angrily. "Who the _hell_ are you! Tell me your name!" He had to know. He had to know for sure…

"You already know."

"Lies!" he screamed. "Why would he be here? How would he know…?"

"I…I had a dream tonight and in my dream something told me to seek the one my heart's always longed for," he stated softly. "I'd rather die here with you tonight Bret than to spend another Christmas all alone in my home."

Bret choked back another sob. It sounded like him. It even _felt _like him, but he was just too afraid to face him and see. So many years were wasted hurting him through the media. So many years Bret pretended to hate him and yet here he was (possibly) sitting behind him attempting to save his life and for what?

"Why?" he asked. "Why are you really here? I've spent the last eleven years hating your guts so it makes no sense for God to send you to me now. What's wrong with God? Has he lost his damn mind?" he asked bitterly.

Shawn pressed his face deeper into Bret's warm flesh, his hands subconsciously caressing his torso. "I don't think anything's wrong with God. I think…I think this was the plan for us from the very beginning."

"To let me suffer like this for so long?" he snapped. "How did that help me Shawn? What gives God the right to play with people's lives?"

"I don't have all the answers," he managed. "I just…I tried to make myself die tonight."

"Make yourself die? Why would you want to do that? You look _so_ happy Shawn. I saw you…I watched all your matches," he confessed. "Every last one of them since your return. I…I'm so jealous," he choked. "You're healthy and happy while I'm here all alone and suffering…"

"I'm not happy Bret. I haven't been happy since Owen's death."

"But you seem so at peace. When I…when I see your face lighting up the screen, a part me longs to be in your place, experiencing a little bit of that. And I cried Shawn. I cried watching your match against Mark because for some reason it reminded me of our struggle years ago. Not our matches but our…our love…if it was even love at all," he added quietly.

"It wasn't meant to be," Shawn said moments later. "It wasn't the right time and if we're both honest with ourselves, we were both too insecure to fight for what we had. But know this Bret. I was _devastated_ when you left me. I…I had no one who truly understood me. Kevin left then you left and God…God sent Owen to me."

"Oh yeah," he scoffed bitterly. "God sent my brother to sleep with you in your time of need—

"It wasn't like that Bret!"

"Oh yeah? Then how was it because I'm pretty sure I watched my brother fall in love with the whore you became when I left!" he screamed.

"He…we…we only made love once Bret! We…he…he told me you saw us in the house that Christmas but I didn't know!" he cried. "I had no idea that you came by the house and…after that we just remained friends. I'm not sure how much he loved me Bret but even he knew that a part of me always saw him as the blonde version of you! It has _always_ been you Bret and I'm sorry," he choked. "I'm sorry for Montreal. I'm sorry for sleeping with Owen. I'm even sorry for making you fall in love with me."

Bret didn't know what to say to that. The man he hated (or thought he hated) for all those years has just apologized for every possible reason to hate him and Bret's heart was just begging him to let down his guard; to accept the apology and bury himself in the man he never stopped loving, but was it right?

Several long minutes later, Shawn willed his aching heart to his feet, his mind no longer able to take the uncomfortable silence. "Before I had my dream tonight, I prayed for one last chance to see the man I love. I've only ever loved two men in my life Bret and I just…I'm just grateful that I got to see him one last time. Merry Christmas."

Shawn turned away from him and started for the door, his face streaming tears again. Owen told him not to leave but what else could he do? Bret still hated him and had every right in the world not to believe Shawn's bogus story about his dream. The only reason he told him that was because he knew Bret would never believe that he saw Owen. Besides, a part of Shawn still longed to follow the younger Hart brother and from the looks of it, he was well on his way again. Shawn grabbed the gun on his way out the door, giving it a loud cock.

Bret's head shot up. What was Shawn doing? Bret looked back in time to see Shawn hurrying out the door, his bare legs and feet taking Bret off guard. Shawn was wearing only a thin shirt that stopped just barely at his knees and no shoes. _Did he come out in the cold in only that?_ Bret jumped to his feet almost knocking the nightstand down. "Shawn?" He was scared. Was Shawn really thinking about killing himself? "Shawn don't you dare!" Bret scrambled out into the hallway and saw Shawn hurrying down the stairs, the gun clutched tightly by his side.

Bret sprinted towards the stairs taking them three at the time just barley reaching Shawn at the door. Bret knocked the gun from Shawn's hand before spinning him around to look upon a face he hadn't seen in almost twelve full years. He paused, his eyes unable to tear themselves away from him. He was so beautiful – just like he imagined he would be after watching those DVDs. Shawn turned away fumbling for the doorknob but Bret was too quick. It was as if all his energy and strength had come back to him, breathing life into him that he wished away earlier in the evening. He grabbed Shawn and just pulled him into him, enclosing him in a warm embrace.

"Bret—

"I can't let you kill yourself Shawn," he cried. "I do…I still need you."

"No you don't."

"Yes, I do!" he pleaded. "You're so warm and so at peace. Even now as I run my fingers through your hair, it's warming my heart in a way I haven't felt since we broke up. I love you. I love you so much!" he choked. He squeezed the blonde tighter and they both just cried. Bret kissed the top of Shawn's head, whispering thanks to God for sending Shawn to him. He knew he was a hypocrite but only Shawn could understand him. Bret's family pride was shattered the moment Shawn cocked that gun. Bret could kill himself with no problem knowing Shawn was at peace but the idea of someone so beautiful and perfect spilling their own blood was just too much for Bret. Over and over he apologized to Shawn, kissing his neck and just burying himself into him. He missed him more than Shawn could ever know. He just hoped this wasn't a cruel joke from God.

Shawn raised his head, meeting Bret's loving eyes. "I'm sorry," Shawn whispered. "I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you and I'm—

He was silenced when Bret's lips crushed his in a powerful kiss, the force of it almost taking his breath completely away. Both fought for dominance, a fight Shawn easily conceded when Bret lifted him in the air. It felt so real and so natural to Bret but he needed to know. He needed to explore the mirage before him to make sure it was real and not just a beautiful nightmare.

Shawn was still light as a feather, clinging to him as Bret carried him up the stairs. He placed the blonde on the bed, but not to make love to him. He wanted to do it so badly but the need to just feel him – to make sure he was _real_ – was greater than his lust. Bret lowered himself onto Shawn kissing his lips again and just refamiliarizing himself with all of him. His hands cupped his face then ghosted over his shoulders squeezing them gently. Shawn's flesh felt so warm and inviting; so much so that Bret just couldn't stop feeling him. He tore his lips away only to give them to the beating pulse of Shawn's neck, his tongue going crazy at the taste. Shawn whimpered and moaned underneath him, whispering Bret's name as his smaller hands gripped his sides out of need. Bret felt Shawn's body arch into his and his desire for flesh took him over.

"Shawn I can't stop…I need you," he breathed. He quickly moved to kiss Shawn's collar while a hand found it's way underneath the silk shirt, ghosting across bare, sensitive flesh. Shawn squirmed.

"Please Bret…this is real…so real I'm going crazy," he cried. "Take me…"

Bret flipped them over so that Shawn was now on top. He lifted a hand, caressing the side of his face like he used to. It was real enough now, but the way Shawn's body seemed to glow made Bret wonder if it was still all just a dream. Shawn leaned into Bret's hand kissing his wrist. He could feel it…Bret's pulse beating against his lips. It was real. It had to be and now Bret was sitting up on the bed helping him out of his shirt. By now Shawn was so turned on that he feared he would peak before Bret could even think to touch him.

"Bret please…" he pleaded. "I'm gonna explode…"

Bret sat up to claim Shawn's lips again. "It's really you," he murmured. "God I've wanted…_needed_ you for so long Shawn. You're so perfect princess…_my_ princess."

Bret clasped Shawn's hips, grinding him against his fully erect member. Bret pushed Shawn back, sliding his hands down his body, never knowing that his hands were burning Shawn's flesh with every touch. "So…hot…" He pulled Shawn back up, claiming his lips again, their tongues entangling passionately. Shawn wriggled his perfect hips, panting heavily against Bret. His eyes were clouded with lust as he rocked back and forth against his raven haired ex, the friction bringing him closer to climax.

"Bret…Bret_ please_…I'm so close…"

"God I miss hearing your sexy pleas." Bret fell back against the sheets watching his beautiful lover. He reached out to him, taking his hands. "Rock beautiful."

Bret held Shawn's hands as he rocked back and forth. Shawn just looked so perfect moving his hips, his eyes glazed over with need.

"Bret…"

"Keep rocking beautiful. I need to watch you as you cum." Bret guided Shawn back and forth over his cock, his own precum spilling through his boxers. He was so close too but he refused to cum without Shawn.

"Bret I'm…"

"Cum with me." Bret pulled Shawn hard and Shawn moaned, both men releasing at the same time. Bret pulled his lover on him, his soft, silky hair blanketing his shoulders. Bret buried his face in Shawn's neck. "I still love you so very much. I didn't get a damn thing for the last five Christmases but if you stay with me, it won't matter if I ever get anything else again. All I want…all I _need _Shawn…is you."

Shawn raised his head and looked into Bret's eyes. He was crying, something Owen said he never did and in turn it made Shawn cry as well. He buried his face in Bret's chest sobbing until he could bring himself to answer. "Shawn?"

"I'll stay."

"Look at me." Shawn raised his head again so Bret could pull him into another kiss. "Will you…?"

"I'll stay."

"Forever?"

"If you want me too."

"I'll prove it. Marry me."

Shawn just stared at him, his mouth agape from shock. Bret said marry. Marry which meant… "You…you want to…"

"I want to marry you and keep you with me forever. I want to make up for all the hurt by showing our love to the world. Owen…he was right Shawn. If I could see him again, I'd tell him that I was wrong and he was right. I'd ask him to forgive me for lashing out at him about loving you because honestly Shawn, you're hard not to love. Its not your fault beautiful. Never your fault, but when I saw you lying in his bed I just…"

"It's okay Bret and just so you know, Owen forgave you a long time ago for being angry. In fact, I think he once told me that he blamed himself."

"But it was all me Shawn."

"And me, but its all in the past now Bret. Tonight…I'm just glad we were able to save each other and on Christmas. A dream sent me to you and you saved me from myself."

"And you did the same for me princess. The next time you talk to God, tell him thanks for sending me the only gift I'll ever need." He kissed his lips. "I love you…so much princess. Merry Christmas love."

"Merry Christmas Bret."

**~*~*~**

Owen stood at the door watching the two men curl up in the bed. _It's about time…_ Bret closed his eyes and started drifting off to sleep but it was Shawn who sensed that they were being watched. He lifted his head in time enough to see Owen smiling at the two of them.

"Thank you," he mouthed. "And I love you."

Shawn smiled. "Love you too." He looked back at Bret grinning. "Him too."

"Goodbye Shawn. Merry Christmas my Emmanuel…and my princess."

_**~Fin**_

_Merry Christmas!_

* * *

**AN: There! It's all done! And thank the heavens! Owen was being…I don't quite know. I'm wondering if it has anything to do with him being in heaven for real.**

**Owen: **Thank you _HeartbreakDX_ for requesting this. I've been wanting to love Shawn for a long time now.

**Bret:** You and everyone else. At least it wasn't big nose this time.

**Hunter:** Keep my nose out of your mouth Bret! That's why Shawn loves Owen more.

**Me:** SHUT UP!!!

**Bret:** Shawn is that true? *pouts*

**Shawn:** Uh…

**Me: **Don't answer that. Hunter, GO WAI!

_You see what I go through on a day to day basis? Anyway, I'd also like to thank my FicFource__** wrestlefan4, Dark Kaneanite, and Seraphalexiel** because they were big inspirations during my down times. Special shout out to __**CerebralPrincess** for also putting up with me on Twitter. This fic is dedicated to all of you._

_And last but not least, thank you all for reviewing this fic. I know I haven't messaged a lot of you back (and I usually reply to every review) but most of you know how occupied I've been with the prompt as well as other things like work. So I do thank you ALL for the reviews. They inspire me to do my very best! The next time you hear from me in writing, it will be an update for (gag) "Heart to Hart". Hope you enjoyed it! ~Nef_


End file.
